What Doesn't Kill You Doesn't Always Make You Stronger
by Maddeline Kirkland-Bonnefoy
Summary: - "You're a liar, Kelly…" she choked, not caring how crazy she sounded, talking to herself. "I would rather die, than live my life without him." And she turned off her iPod, resolving to try and get some much needed sleep. Perhaps the world would look brighter in the morning... At least, she hoped it would. - Rated for language. Tarrant/OC.


***sings the second verse of 3OH!3'S _Don't Trust Me_* _And the set list, that you stole off the stage, has red and purple lipstick all over the page..._ Now that that's done and over with, here's the first one-shot from the Set List that Koneko sent me. I know I said my Tarrelyn muse was coming out of hibernation, and this is true - hence why this is not directly Tarrelyn. Anyway... Sorry it's do depressing; my muse wanted it that way.**

**Disclaimer: _Alice in Wonderland, 2010_ doesn't belong to me. The songs mentioned don't, either. Nope. Not at all. Amara's mine, though. No stealing, or I will send Kumajirou after you. (Hetalia fans, do not explain that and let the other people think I'm crazy.)**

**Prompt Set #3 ("Set List") - Prompt #5: "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" by Kelly Clarkson. Tarrelyn.**

**Enjoy.  
**

* * *

She had been listening to her iPod on repeat all day, all the songs she had, had tried doing her homework or just wringing/reading to distract herself, and had even tried calling her two best friends. All had ended in failure. Her music just made her depressed. Mirana had a family engagement she couldn't get out of (the usual drivel of a socialite coming to age, something her friends knew she detested, but was now her responsibility with her elder sister's incarceration), and though the distraught female had known calling Amara would do no good (the proud, head-strong, usually fearless girl reverted to a rabbit-like child when in her own home, though she would never admit it) she had tried it anyways. As for her schoolwork, she never could concentrate, when she was extremely emotional, so she had given up on that attempt quickly. Though reading and writing usually helped her – she could either put herself in the shoes of the character she was reading about, or get her feelings out onto paper or a Microsoft Word document as a type of self-therapy – but this seemed too large of a task for even that to tackle. She had known none of it would help, but she had tried anyways.

She needed something – _anything_ – to get her mind off of what had happened just less than twenty-four hours ago. And then she had found that song. It wasn't 100% relevant, but – but, it had helped, even if only in some small measure of a twisted way. She had other songs by the same artist, but this one… it seemed to – in some inexplicable way, for some bizarre reason – ease her emotions and thoughts back into some semblance of order.

_You know the bed feels warmer_  
_Sleeping here alone_  
_You know I dream in color_  
_And do the things I want_

No. It didn't. It was cold, so, so, _so_ damn cold, here all alone… She missed the almost feverish warmth, and the silent, sweet, steady presence he had been at times like this. She hadn't dreamed – she hadn't even slept. She had spent the entire night crying, just as she was still doing now. She couldn't do anything; she felt nothing and everything, thought too much and not enough in a tangle so incomprehsnible, she doubted that even their entire school could have figured it out. Not that she would have wanted them knowing, but still.

_Think you've got the best of me_  
_Think you've had the last laugh_  
_Bet you think that everything good is gone_  
_Think you left me broken down_  
_Think that I'd come running back_  
_Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong_

He had never tried to get the best of her; he had always simply been there, whenever and wherever she had needed him, no matter what. He would never have laughed at her, not unless she was trying to be funny, or he was gently teasing her. She didn't know if there were anything good left in her life, but she knew that if she could ever manage to drag herself out of the deep, seemingly unending pit she had been plunged into, she would damn well find something. (Oh dear, she was starting to sound like Amara; two swear words in one train of thought…) She was broken, but she doubted that had been his intention; she had seen equal pain in his eyes. Why would she have gone running back? It wasn't as if it would have helped matters, at this point… But still, he had known her, all of her, inside and out; they had been friends since they were six years old, and had only recently (last Christmas) become so much more. She didn't know what he had been thinking, and she wasn't sure she ever wanted to know, at this point.

_What doesn't kill makes you stronger_  
_Stand a little taller_  
_Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone_  
_What doesn't kill makes you fighter_  
_Footsteps even lighter_  
_Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone_

She had listened to the song on repeat, over and over and over again, for hours now. Saturday had slowly become Sunday, and she had blocked out the rest of the world. She didn't care, at this point; maybe she would, later, but right now… Right now she was trying to force herself to believe the words she was forcing herself to listen to relentlessly. It wasn't working.

"You're a liar, Kelly…" she choked, not caring how crazy she sounded, talking to herself. "I would rather die, than live my life without him." And she turned off her iPod, resolving to try and get some much needed sleep. Perhaps the world would look brighter in the morning...

At least, she hoped it would.


End file.
